Downfall

Ack. I keep on looking at this thing and thinking about how I should write something but then don't really know what to write.

I feel like I'm losing momentum. The moment I lost it may have been after I had been working out for a couple of weeks and got on the scale at the gym. I had weighed myself at the same scale during one of my first workouts and weighed in at 286. When I hopped on two weeks later (soaking wet compared to totally dry), it said 276. I was totally stoked! I couldn't believe I lost ten pounds. I was super excited and all ready to call John and brag and then I decided to go weigh again, just to double check. When I got on that time, it said 286 again. .... LAME! I felt super discouraged, especially after getting so excited.

I knew it was a bit crazy to have lost 10 pounds in two weeks solely by working out and not REALLY changing my diet all that much, but I was sucked into the potential glory. It confirmed the already existing knowledge about diet being 80% of weight loss, but I had felt like I was doing so good. It was disheartening (to say the least) to feel like you're working hard and making progress and then not see results (ESPECIALLY after being tricked into thinking there were results).

Now all these excuses are coming back in my head - things like "I can't afford to eat healthy". Man, I can justify my way into thinking just about anything.

I was still working out consistently at the gym, although not as hard cause I was mostly going with students. I started to avoid the Friday solo-workout. Then I just got back from a trip to Oregon for my cousin's wedding (where I ate crap and didn't move except to boogie on down on the dance floor) - and I feel like now is the challenging part. I have to force myself to get back to the gym and start making good decisions about what I eat. It's so easy to justify eating Taco Bell and cup o' noodles on vacation... and it can be just as easy back home if I let it. This seems especially hard cause we're on a really tight budget BECAUSE of the vacation. Bad food just feels cheaper.

We just went grocery shopping and I have our menu planned out for the next two weeks to save money. It's not super healthy stuff, but it's at least real food, i.e. unprocessed. God was good and boneless skinless chicken breasts were on sale as the cheapest possible meat (we usually get bone-in, skin-on, thighs cause they're cheaper). So let's hope that's a good omen for me taking another step forward in this journey.