She fancy, huh?

Today I'm wearing dress pants that are suddenly super comfy - because they're a bit baggy. I've paired them with a sweatshirt and flip flops cause it's an overcast Saturday and it just feels right.

It's been a little over 2 months since the surgery and I've lost 45 pounds. I track my weight loss in a google doc every Thursday. I weigh myself every morning. Sometimes I get frustrated since the scale usually goes 2 steps forward and 1 step back. I have to be reminded how quickly I'm losing when I get impatient with the numbers.

I only have one pair of jeans that still fits. The rest are so baggy that I can take them off without hands - how's that for sexy?

I'm still learning how to eat and thanks to a recent personal encounter with Jamie Oliver Food Revolution, I'm on a cooking from scratch kick. My hubby and I have also been talking about gearing a lot more toward a plant-based, non-processed diet due to recent research (The China Study, Paleo, etc.). We plan on reading up and moving forward from there. Not sure how the plant-based stuff will affect the doctor-recommended protein focused diet I'm supposed to follow. I plan to make an appointment with the dietician to find out how it'll work.

In the mean time, I'm enjoying making veggie chili and cornbread sans cans or mixes. And Jamie Oliver's whole wheat pancakes with fruit compote.

I'm still surprised when I can only eat half a roll of sushi before I'm stuffed. I still usually eat one bite too many at my meals and am sorry for an hour or so afterward.

Just trying to enjoy the journey and give myself a little grace for the bumps along the way.

I didn't die!

I didn't die! I'm now nearly two weeks out from my surgery and I'm still alive. Hooray!

For anyone who is thinking about having the surgery, know this: it hurts. I woke up in the hospital and the first 48 hours (especially the first 24) were PAIN. I've never birthed a child and I don't plan to, so I'm just gonna set post-surgery as my limit.

However, it wasn't absolutely unbearable and I'm noticeably better every day. At 12 days out, I feel almost normal - I'm tired (I think mostly from eating so little), and my incisions are itchy and stingy a lot of the time, but I don't need to take my pain meds at all. I get my staples out tomorrow and I'm uber excited about that.

In my appointment tomorrow, I'm hoping against hope that I'll get approval from my surgeon to move on to the "mushy" stage of eating. Right now I'm on full liquids, meaning that EVERYTHING I eat has to be blended to a straw-worthy consistency. It's not fun. I would do horrible things to be able to eat something crunchy. I feel like being able to eat "mushies" like mashed potatoes or tuna salad would make my life about a million times better right now. Most blended things are sweet and/or not all that tasty. And if I eat anything with too much sugar or fat, my tummy says no pretty rudely; thus my dreams of milkshakes have been dashed. So far my favorite thing is pinto beans from Taco Bell blended with greek yogurt (sour cream substitute) and hot sauce.

I've lost about a pound a day since surgery (20 pounds since my highest weight a few months ago) and I would love for it to go even faster. I can't wait until I can start seeing/feeling the difference in significant ways!

No turning back

Surgery is in 12 days.

I'm nervous.

I'm excited.

I'm a bit scared.

I'm hopeful.

I told my mom that I was scared and she reminded me that I didn't have to go through with it. I then reminded her that being scared wasn't a good excuse to not do something.

My brother just went sky diving. We agreed that being a pansy isn't a cop-out option.

Balls to the wall, let's do this.

Cut & Paste

I'm scheduled to have gastric sleeve surgery on July 14th.

I'm excited.

A bit nervous.

More nervous still that my nickel allergy may throw a wrench in the process (surgical staples still being verified as okay for my body).

Here we go...